


Confession Heals the Soul

by A Magiluna Stormwriter (ariestess)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Confessions, F/F, Love Confessions, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-06 21:10:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8769436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariestess/pseuds/A%20Magiluna%20Stormwriter
Summary: In the aftermath of the trip to the Underworld and Robin's death, Regina returns to her therapy sessions with Archie.  Unbeknownst to her, Emma has also begun to see Archie for issues related to being the Dark Swan and going to the Underworld. Both want the other to join them in some sort of couple's therapy, but neither is willing to make the first move to suggest it. The longer they hide their issues from each other, the worse they get, both individually and as a couple.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mippippippi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mippippippi/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Confession Heals the Soul [ ART ]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8797801) by [mippippippi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mippippippi/pseuds/mippippippi). 



> Date Written: 17 October - 5 December 2016  
> Word Count: 17423  
> Summary: In the aftermath of the trip to the Underworld and Robin's death, Regina returns to her therapy sessions with Archie. Unbeknownst to her, Emma has also begun to see Archie for issues related to being the Dark Swan and going to the Underworld. Both want the other to join them in some sort of couple's therapy, but neither is willing to make the first move to suggest it. The longer they hide their issues from each other, the worse they get, both individually and as a couple.  
> Spoilers: This is a canon divergent AU with alternating POV chapters, using the prompts from the most recent SQ Week, that picks up after the events of the S5 finale, but jinks off at that point from canon and ignores the vast majority of the S6 action to date. Nothing of the Jekyll/Hyde SL is used, including Split Queen.  
> Warnings: No standard warnings apply.  
> Website: ShatterStorm Productions – Doggie Duo  
> Link to: http://bdkk.shatterstorm.net/  
> Archive: ShatterStorm Productions & AO3 only…all others ask for permission & we'll see…  
> Feedback: Constructive criticism is always welcome.
> 
> Author’s Disclaimer: "Once Upon a Time," the characters, and situations depicted are the property of Adam Horowitz, Edward Kitsis, Kitsis/Horowitz, and ABC Studios. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. This site is in no way affiliated with "Once Upon a Time," ABC, or any representatives of the actors.
> 
> Author’s Notes: First things first, I need to offer some serious props to mippippippi, who created such a gorgeous piece of cover art for this fic. She included everything I wanted, sometimes even before I knew I wanted or needed it, and I am so pleased with the outcome. Please make sure you go give her lots of feedback and kudos for her artwork.
> 
> That said, this has been a true labor of love for me. For one thing, the plot kept changing on me initially as to whether or not I would include Split Queen. This was such an issue that I kept putting off writing anything on it for the longest time. I almost had to drop out, but then the muses and I came to some sort of an agreement and this story started pouring out. We went through a bunch of rewrites and considerations during the course of writing, but in the end they were all worth it. My biggest issue in this project was writing the whole thing in third person. I haven't written Swan Queen in third person for more than maybe 2000 words in a long, long time, if ever. I have been nervous about this transition here, and completely blame it on another project I've been working on since June that has had _a lot_ of third person POV. I'm sad that I ended up dropping the Split Queen ideas I had, but those will likely end up in another fic early in 2017.
> 
> Dedication: My muses, as always…
> 
> Beta: theonlyspl, who is my beta babe for life.

Excerpt of Session Transcript

Patient: Mills, Regina  
Case File #RM-19761109  
Session Date: June 13, 2016

RM: I need your help, Archie. I can't do this alone anymore.

AH: Can't do what, Regina?

RM: I feel… I feel disconnected. So much has happened this past year and I've tried to deal with it on my own, using the tricks you've taught me. But it's not working. I just keep getting caught up in what needs to be fixed, but I can't figure out how to fix it.

AH: What exactly is it that needs to be fixed, Regina?

RM: [uncomfortable laughter] You're kidding, right? Have you been under a sleeping curse this past year? I know I saw you at the funeral, at both of them. Don't tell me that you have no clue what I'm talking about.

AH: I never said that. I have my own ideas as to why you're here, but it's not my work to do. I want you to tell me why you feel the need to be here. I want you to prioritize what we'll tackle together in our sessions. You already know how I work, and you know what's bothering you. Now you get to lay out all the cards and put them in the order you need.

RM: Oh… Well, I suppose both Robin and Hook's deaths are relatively high on the list, as are my relationships with my niece and my sister.

AH: And what about Roland?

RM: He's back in the Enchanted Forest with John and the rest of the Merry Men. There's nothing to talk about there. He went where he felt most comfortable, and I-- I've accepted that. He needs stability and John's been there for him his entire life.

AH: All right, then we'll strike Roland from the list. What else is on your mind?

RM: Did I tell you how many people I ran into in the Underworld? People I'd killed either directly or indirectly? I really never should have been allowed to leave.

AH: I thought you helped several of them transition to a better place.

RM: I did, but I wasn't able to help all of them. Too many of them required my death to resolve their unfinished business. And you know, I almost let them have it. It was the least I could do to assuage my own guilty conscience and let them finish their business and get out of that hellacious purgatory.

AH: But you didn't because…

RM: Because of the damned Charmings, of course. And Henry. [coughs and sniffles] And Robin. None of them were willing to let me go, damn their heroic hearts.

AH: And what about Emma?

RM: She's a Charming, isn't she? I'd considered finding a way to stay behind, make as many amends to help the dead move on as possible, but then Hook had to stay dead in order to get the rest of us out of there, and… [heavy sigh] I knew there was no way I could burden Emma with the loss of her True Love and her friend. She'd just blame herself, and that would eat away at me for the rest of eternity.

AH: So the two of you are close again?

RM: I'd like to think so, but things are so easily strained between us. And now, with both of us grieving the losses we've had, I'm unsure of how to reach out to her beyond the safe subject of raising Henry.

AH: Then perhaps that's something we should work on, as well, Regina. You've said before how important her friendship is to you.

~*~*~

Excerpt of Session Transcript

Patient: Swan, Emma  
Case File #ES-19831023  
Session Date: June 15, 2016

ES: I know you helped Henry and Regina before. I was wondering, um, if you'd be willing to help me?

AH: I'd be more than willing, Emma. What can I help you with?

ES: I need to talk to someone that's gonna be unbiased. You can do that, right?

AH: Of course, I can. And no one will know of our sessions without your permission.

ES: Oh good! Thank you. I just-- Okay, so I kind of have a hard time talking to shrinks. It's a leftover from growing up in foster care. But I think I can trust you, so I'm trying.

AH: Take all the time you need, Emma. 

ES: So I guess I need to talk about Hook. And that means talking about the Underworld and what I put my family and friends through. And Robin's death. And Regina…

AH: What about Regina?

ES: I really am my mother's daughter. Snow was involved in the death of Regina's first love. And then I was involved in the death of her soulmate. She probably hates me. She won't say it, because it would hurt Henry to have us fighting again, but I think she does.

AH: Why do you think that? I thought your friendship was stronger than that?

ES: She's been really distant since we buried them. I mean, I get that she's mourning and doesn't like to show her weaknesses in public, but we used to have family dinners, just the three of us. That hasn't happened since I took the darkness for her.

AH: Her friendship is important to you, isn't it?

ES: Yeah, it is. Regina's the first person since Lily that I've really trusted. Well, and you now, I mean. I think I trust her even more than Lily. She's just…

AH: Just?

ES: She's Regina and she makes things better.


	2. Travel

Excerpt of Session Transcript

Patient: Mills, Regina  
Case File #RM-19761109  
Session Date: June 20, 2016

AH: You mentioned in your email yesterday that you're feeling trapped again. Would you like to elaborate on that?

RM: Everyone here knows me. They basically know all of my business, whether I like it or not. I can't turn around without running into someone who just knows where I'll be at any given minute. And these aren't magic users. I could understand it with the people who have access to magic. It would be a little creepy, but I'd understand it. But I can't seem to get away from any of them anymore, especially since coming back from the Underworld.

AH: And this bothers you?

RM: Seriously? How can you ask me that, Archie? If I didn't have an issue with it, we wouldn't be talking about it now, would we?

AH: Have you considered taking a break and just leaving town for a bit?

{Note: Patient becomes very quiet for several minutes, fidgeting with the pillow and petting Pongo's head.}

RM: Did you know that the only times I've ever left Storybrooke, Emma's been with me? Well, except for those two trips to Boston to adopt Henry. But since the curse was broken, my forays into this land have involved her.

AH: Do you want her to accompany you if you do leave town?

RM: I-- I'm not sure. She's good company and keeps me from getting too lost in my own head.

~*~*~

Regina steps out of Town Hall and glances up and down the street before seeing the Bug still parked in front of the Sheriff's Station. Taking a deep breath, she strides across the way and steps into the station. Her heels click on the tiles, sound reverberating in the quiet hallway as she makes her way to Emma's office. The cruiser is missing, but she hopes that means David has it.

"Hey, Regina," David says as he steps out of the break room with a can of soda. "You looking for Emma?"

"Yes." Regina does her best to hide her disappointment, following him into the bullpen. "Is she here?"

"She had to go catch Pongo again, but she radioed that she's on her way back if you want to wait. She's grabbing some food since she's covering for me for a couple hours tonight. I need to watch Neal since Snow's got some kind of parent teacher meeting tonight."

Regina quirks a brow. "Parent teacher meeting? David, it's the middle of June, almost July. School's been out for summer break for three weeks now."

David squirms, and she resists the urge to smirk, knowing she's caught him in a lie. "Fine," he finally says, not meeting her eye. "Granny's going to watch Neal so Snow and I can have a little time to ourselves tonight."

Now Regina chuckles. "Does your daughter know that she's covering your booty call?"

"You really don't need to call it that."

"And what exactly _should_ I call it, David? When have I ever sugarcoated anything?"

His mouth opens and shuts several times before he finally shrugs and lets out a bark of nervous laughter. Regina can't help but laugh with him. Neither of them hears Emma come into the building until she clears her throat.

"Do I even want to know what's going on here?" she asks, still standing just inside the doorway.

"We were, uh, just discussing why you're covering part of my shift tonight," David says quickly.

Regina considers expanding on his response, but chooses to remain silent and keep that information for blackmail at a later date.

"Oookay." Emma moves past Regina to set the bag on her desk, then offers David a takeout cup. Regina sees the twinkle in her eyes as David takes a drink. "Drink up, Dad. I hear Mom's pretty antsy to get her swerve on tonight."

David chokes on his drink, coffee spewing all over the desk and floor in front of him. Regina manages to take a step back as soon as Emma says antsy, having guessed what's coming, so she avoids getting splattered. Emma, on the other hand, is not so lucky.

"Damn it, Dad! These are my last pair of clean skinny jeans. I should make you do my laundry tonight, but I know that's not gonna happen."

"H-How did you know?" he finally asks, voice hoarse from coughing.

"Parent teacher conferences? Really, Dad? Henry sits at this desk and answers phones for us during the day."

Regina chuckles as David's face goes even redder, then flicks her wrist to clean up the mess, including Emma's jeans. "You both owe me for that. I expect coffee and my favorite chocolate croissant waiting on my desk each morning for the rest of the week. You two can fight over who's going to pay for it, but it's _not_ coming out of the departmental budget."

Emma instantly points to David with both hands and laughs. "You and Mom are paying. And you know what? I'd really like a bear claw each morning this week. That's what Graham did as penance when I found out about--" She claps her hand over her mouth, going pale, and stares at Regina with wide eyes.

"You knew…" Regina blinks in surprise, then remembers fists flying and a split lip that stung for the better part of a day before it scabbed up. A strange sensation bubbles up in her gut, one that she doesn't want to name just yet, so she puts on a nonchalant face. "No, of course, you knew. It's fine. Water under the bridge, right?"

Emma nods slowly, hand raking through her hair. David's head moves between the two of them, but he doesn't say anything.

"So… Was there something you needed, Regina?" Emma finally asks.

"Actually, there is something I wanted to run by you, but it can wait. I should probably let you get back to work."

She turns to leave and nearly makes it to the door before she feels a hand on her shoulder. There's no need to look, she knows exactly who is stopping her. That undefinable sensation is still roiling in her stomach, and she wants nothing more than to get as far away as possible. And yet, she stays where she is, letting the warmth of Emma's hand seep into her skin through the thin layer of her blazer. She can't even come up with a good reason for her inability to poof away.

"Please don't go. Dad's just about to leave anyway, and I'm bored."

"Admitting boredom to your boss isn't exactly wise, Ms. Swan," Regina replies, internally cringing at how husky her voice is. She clears her throat and looks at Emma from the corner of her eye.

"I wasn't admitting it to my boss," Emma says softly. "I wanted my friend to stick around and keep me from getting into trouble."

~*~*~

By the time David leaves for his extended break, as they're all calling it now, Regina follows Emma into her office. Emma looks sheepish as she stares at the bag, but Regina just chuckles and gestures to it.

"Go ahead and eat, Emma. I'm not going to make your stomach wait until I've left."

She weathers the curious look from Emma with a small smile. After a moment or two, Emma nods and starts to pull food from the bag. A wrapped sandwich and a small container of fries come out first, and Regina assumes it's a cheeseburger. But when a small container of soup and a plastic salad dish come out next, she raises her eyebrows in surprise.

"I wasn't sure what I wanted," Emma replies with a sheepish grin, then stands up. "I'm gonna grab a Coke from the machine. Do you want something to drink while I'm up?"

Regina starts to request a bottle of water, but stops herself. "You know, a Coke actually sounds really good right now."

Emma's eyebrows raise nearly into her hairline, but she nods and heads out of the office toward the break room. Regina waits quietly, trying to figure out how to broach the reason for her visit. By the time Emma returns, she still hasn't come up with any better way than to just come out with it. Taking the bottle of Coke from Emma, she opens it and takes a sip. The carbonation always startles her, but it burns down her throat, emboldening her.

"So what's up?" Emma asks after taking a drink of her own Coke. "Did Henry do something?"

"No, Henry's just fine. But this is about him in a way." She reaches over to snag a couple of Emma's fries to chew on while formulating her request, trying to ignore the weird lurch in her stomach at Emma's knowing grin. "You know that Henry's birthday is coming up in two months."

"Yeah, kid's gonna be fourteen. I can't believe he's so old already."

Regina laughs softly. "Trust me, I know what you mean. My little prince is turning into a man in front of my eyes. I'm torn over liking and hating it."

"I get that. So why are we bringing it up so soon? You know he can't legally drive for another year and a half at least, and even then it's just a permit."

"Don't remind me. I've already seen what he can do to mailboxes, thank you." They share a laugh at that. "No, I'd like to get him something special this year, and I was wondering if you'd like to be involved in the gift."

Emma blinks and, like a true Charming, imitates a fish out of water for a few seconds before nodding. "Uh, yeah, I'd love to be involved in his gift. Thank you for offering." She dips her grilled cheese into the soup and takes a bite, swallowing before she speaks again. "So what kind of gift are you thinking of? Or do you need ideas?"

"I thought we could give him something that will help him with his studies as well as his new vocation as the Author."

"But he broke the quill?" Before Regina can reply, she continues, "But I suppose he can't stop being the Author any more than I can stop being the Savior, right?"

"Unfortunately certain roles are set in stone, I think, but maybe the burden can be shared." She takes another sip of her Coke. "I was thinking we could upgrade his computer, and possibly even buy him a domain for an online blog of some sort."

Emma grins. "You're really getting the hang of the lingo, Regina. I'm impressed." When Regina rolls her eyes, Emma laughs. "Okay, okay. But you can do that by yourself. I mean, I'll chip in whatever I need to, both for ideas on upgrades and money to pay for it, but why start so soon?"

"I was hoping to get the computer customized for him. And I know you're far more knowledgeable in that area than I am." She fidgets slightly in her seat, but stops as she realizes she's doing it.

"I can definitely help out with that," Emma replies with a nod. "So why don't you tell me the real reason you came over here, Regina? You know you can't lie to me."

"I-- I feel trapped and I need to get away for a bit. I was hoping you'd accompany me on a trip out of town. I'll even let you drive my Mercedes."

Emma's eyebrows raise again. "Wow! You must be desperate to escape if you're willing to let me drive your car." When Regina starts to scowl, Emma lifts a hand in acquiescence. "But I'd be happy to go with you. When and where?"

"When is your next day off?"

"That bad, huh?"

Regina nods slowly and rubs her forehead. "I feel trapped here. All of these people who know me, know what I've done, know what happened to Robin. I just need to breathe air that isn't shared and stifling like this." She sighs softly. "This probably sounds insane."

Emma reaches across the table to grab her hand. "No, it doesn't. I get it, Regina. It's like they mean well, but the looks of pity are suffocating."

"Yes! That's exactly what it is. I just need some time away where no one knows me or has any expectations of me, good or bad."

"What about Henry?"

"He could probably stay with your parents. They can keep an eye on him and Violet if there are any dates while we're gone."

"How long we talking about here?"

"Two days? I mean an overnight trip. Leave in the morning, spend the night in whatever city we go to, and then come back the next day. Preferably as late as possible without needing to spend a second night away. I'd love to stay longer, but I fear that…"

When Regina doesn't continue, fearful of voicing her thoughts, Emma squeezes her hand again. "You're afraid you won't want to come back?"

Regina nods, eyes trained on their joined hands. Without thought, she flips her wrist so that their hands are clasped. "It's awful of me, isn't it?"

"Not at all. You get trapped and the urge to run is strong. Believe me, I know how that goes. We'll take our trip, go check out a few electronics stores in Boston for upgrade ideas and pricing, and maybe take in a few sights. Once we get back, we can start planning out the new computer and order it online. Henry'll love it, and we get to just be Emma and Regina for a couple days."

"Thank you, Emma. You don't know what this means to me."


	3. Insecurities

Excerpt of Session Transcript

Patient: Swan, Emma  
Case File #ES-19831023  
Session Date: June 26, 2016

AH: I heard that you went on a road trip with Regina last week. How did that go?

ES: It was a lot of fun actually. Sometimes I forget just how funny she can be. And I'm not sure that anyone in this town really gets it either.

AH: How so?

ES: Like, the minute we crossed the town line, she just completely relaxed, you know? The lines of stress around her eyes and her mouth just disappeared, and she looked so much younger and just beautiful. And she started cracking jokes. She's got a wicked sense of humor. Did you know that?

AH: I have been on the receiving end of some of her puns, yes.

ES: That's it, too! She had me groaning and nearly in tears with those dryly delivered puns. A couple of them went over my head though.

AH: And that was a problem for you, Emma?

ES: I guess it just reminded me that she's really smart and totally out of my league in so many ways.

AH: In what ways is she out of your league?

ES: She's… There's this otherworldly sense to her. And before you say it, I don't mean because she's from the Enchanted Forest. It's beyond that. It's _way_ beyond that. She… You know that cliché about meeting a highly spiritual person like the Dalai Lama and feeling like everything's gonna be okay? I feel like that when I'm around Regina. Even before she started her whole journey to redemption, back before the curse broke and she was all prickly bitch, there was still this undercurrent of serenity to her. Does that even make any sense?

AH: Actually yes, it does. There is more to Regina than meets the eye. I think that's true of everyone, including you, Emma. But that doesn't explain why you think she's out of your league.

ES: Are you kidding me? She's smart, she's got this calming presence, she's a great mom to Henry, she's gorgeous, and she's just… Everyone she lets in becomes a better person for seeing behind the mask she wears for protection.

AH: Wouldn't that make you a better person then? Surely she's let you see behind that mask.

ES: Yeah, but I think I represent too many bad decisions for her. Like, she feels the need to fix me in order to fix herself. And I'm just too broken for anyone to fix. And let's not even go anywhere near the whole Marian thing. I'm not sure she'll ever forgive me for that.

~*~*~

When Emma's phone chirps a new message coming in, she doesn't pick it up at first. She knows who it's from, and she feels rawer than normal after talking to Archie. Talking to anyone else, especially the one who's sent the message is more than she can handle at the moment. She lets her phone sit on the desk and goes back to her report. She's been trying harder to get the forms computerized, but certain individuals have fought joining the Digital Age.

Doing paperwork has become something of a ritual for her. For every time she fought it in the beginning, now she finds a sense of accomplishment in keeping her inbox empty of reports and budgetary requisitions. Her father hates paperwork more than she did initially, so she willingly does his and he takes more of the second shifts in exchange.

"Emma?"

Her head snaps up at the sound of her name, and she blinks as she sees her mother standing there. "Mom? Is something wrong?"

"Actually, I was going to ask you the same thing. We've been trying to contact you for nearly an hour."

Emma frowns then and reaches for her phone. She winces as she sees all of the texts and missed calls. "Sorry, Mom, I guess I got caught up in paperwork."

Snow quirks an eyebrow at her, causing Emma to glance down at the paper on her desk. She instantly flushes a deep red as she sees the doodles on the page. Before she can formulate any reply other than unintelligible gibberish, Snow chuckles.

"I can see why you'd get caught up in your paperwork. I never knew you could draw so accurately."

Head dropping to her desk, incidentally with her forehead landing right on the largest drawing on the page: a relatively accurate depiction of Regina in her Evil Queen getup, cleavage prominently displayed. The instant desire for a gaping hole to open beneath her is nearly acted upon, but cooler heads prevail. Taking a deep breath, Emma sits back up again and forces herself to meet Snow's curious, calculating gaze.

"Don't start," Emma says, holding up a hand. "I'm not in the mood for this conversation yet. Maybe ever."

"Does she know?"

"Seriously, Mom? I just said I'm not ready yet."

"Asking if she knows has nothing to do with the conversation you think we're going to have. I just need to know how to proceed, that's all."

"No, she doesn't, and she probably never will."

"Why not?"

Of course, her mother is going to continue down this road anyway. Emma sighs and leans back in her chair. "It's only been a couple months since we escaped the Underworld. She's still mourning Robin's death and losing Roland."

"And what about you?"

"You know Hook didn't mean as much to me as I thought. We've talked about this. I tried, and I settled because it was selfish of me to take Regina from her soulmate. Killian knew it, too. I think seeing Milah in the Underworld reminded him of what he wanted."

Snow comes around the desk to hug her daughter. "You seemed happy with him, you know. I know you weren't, but you were very convincing. Too bad you can't be that convincing about not feeling what you clearly do for Regina."

Emma clings to Snow, head resting over her heart. "It doesn't matter, Mom. Even if she was interested in me, she's so fucking far out of my league, it's not funny."

"I don't believe that, Emma, and neither should you." She kisses the top of Emma's head, then rests her cheek on the same spot. "You are closer to Regina than anyone here, other than Henry. She trusts you with her life, and you know it."

"I remind her of the curse and all the bad decisions she made."

"No, you don't. That's my job, and I will gladly do what I need to in order for Regina to stick with the redemption she wants and deserves. You are her best friend, and she needs you in her life more than either of you realize."

"But…"

"But what?"

"What if she gets tired of me and sends me away? Everyone else that I let in either sent me away or died. I don't want to lose her, too."

Snow stands and cups Emma's cheeks in her hands, forcing eye contact between them. "That's never going to happen, Emma. If you have ever believed me, trust me when I tell you this, okay? She _needs_ you, even if she's not consciously aware of that herself. Just talk to her, please?"

Before Emma can answer, her phone chimes again. Snow's knowing grin indicates that she also knows who that message will be from. "Okay, I'll try."

"That's my girl." Snow nods toward Emma's phone. "Answer that before she gets even more worried about you. And then you clock out and get over to the mansion for dinner. Or did you forget that she and Henry invited you over tonight to get to know Violet a little better?"

"Damn it!" The memory of Regina offering her lasagna and cheesecake comes back full force, making Emma blush again. "She's gonna kill me for this."

Snow chuckles. "Yes, she probably is. She wouldn't get so upset if she didn't care about you, Emma."

"I know." Emma fires off a quick apologetic text to Regina, then stands up and kisses Snow's cheek. "Thanks, Mom. I owe you big time. Tell Dad that, unless Regina needs me, I'll pull a double tomorrow and you can have him all to yourself."

Snow giggles at that, and it takes everything in Emma not to visibly shudder at the thought of her parents having sex. Instead, she ushers her mother out of the office and the station itself, then gets into the Bug to head over to the mansion for dinner with Regina, their son, and his girlfriend.


	4. Illness

Excerpt of Session Transcript

Patient: Mills, Regina  
Case File #RM-19761109  
Session Date: July 1, 2016

RM: What are the odds that magic is wrong about something?

AH: I'm not sure I understand what you mean. Can you give me an example?

RM: I've learned to trust my magic over the years. I guess it's my version of Emma's superpower? Something like that. But lately I've been getting the distinct impression that my magic is working against me.

AH: Still not following you, Regina.

RM: I'd say stop being coy with me, but I don't think you are. Okay, let me just cut to the chase, shall I? The way my magic blends with Emma's. It's not normal. I'm not saying that it's bad, it's just not normal for people in our positions.

AH: And what might those positions be?

RM: The Savior and the E-- The Queen. Our magic shouldn't blend and strengthen as it does.

AH: But you and I both know why it does, don't we, Regina?

RM: Not this again, Archie! We both know that Emma doesn't feel the way I do. That year in New York proves it. 

AH: Regina, you know that doesn't mean anything. She didn't have her memories. You can't hold that against her.

RM: Robin was safe, expected, fated. And, just like Daniel, he was taken away from me. I have Henry, and I have Emma's friendship. That should be enough. That _is_ enough. It has to be.

~*~*~

"Ma? I need your help." His laugh echoes across the phone. "Chill, Ma. It's nothing that serious. Mom's not feeling well, and I was hoping you could stop by Granny's to get some chicken soup for her? I can't find any of hers in the freezers, and I already forbade her from doing any of the cooking."

Regina sits at the island, head in her hands, as she listens to Henry's side of the conversation. She keeps her eyes closed and makes sure to breathe as slowly and deeply as she can. The nausea roils in her stomach, threatening to make an appearance in a most spectacular and painful fashion.

"Okay. See you in a little bit." Henry's words filter back into her conscious mind. "Just come in with your key. We're in the kitchen. I know, but well… Yeah. Okay, bye."

"Is--" Regina winces as her voice cracks. "Is Emma bringing the soup?"

"Yeah, she is. And she said if you're not feeling good, you should be in bed, not the kitchen."

When Regina lifts her head to glare at her son, she's not surprised that he's got a smug grin on his face. Another wave of nausea hits her, and she gingerly drops her head back into her hands with a soft moan. She tries deep breaths again, counting the minutes until relief comes in the form of Emma and her magic. Just when it feels like her stomach is starting to settle, a new wave of nausea hits and she stumbles in her efforts to race to the bathroom.

~*~*~

By the time Emma shows up, Regina hasn't left the bathroom. Henry has been sitting with her, letting her rest her head on his shoulder. She wants to cry, wants to fight this iniquity, but knows that anything beyond the basics of sitting upright and breathing will bring on another bout of vomiting. Her body, especially her throat, can't handle that.

"Henry? Regina? Where are you guys?"

"In here, Ma," Henry calls out, but doesn't leave Regina's side.

The moment she hears Emma's voice, Regina can feel the tendrils of her magic. Without thought, she coaxes those tendrils close, taking solace in the reprieve from her nausea. The familiar tread of Emma's boots across her floor is comforting, but she has to wonder when she learned to distinguish that particular sound so easily.

"Hey," Emma says softly, kneeling in front of them, and rests a hand on Regina's knee. "How you doing? You don't look so hot."

Regina drinks in the warmth of Emma's touch, both physical and magical, and tries to smile. "On my 'What Doesn't Kill Me' scale, I'd rate this about a seven. The fairy dust and being electrocuted rank a nine and an eleven out of ten, so…" She shivers suddenly.

"So a seven is a picnic, right?" Emma smiles and squeezes her knee when Regina nods. "Do you think you can get upstairs to bed if you lean on us?" 

Regina wants to be the strong one who doesn't _need_ anyone, but she knows better. Her stomach lurches, and she sucks in a breath before whispering, "No." Her eyes close in defeat. "I hate this."

She senses the increase in Emma's magic surrounding her just before arms gently move to lift her up and against a warm, strong chest. She moans as the butterflies beat furiously in her stomach, but the bile doesn't rise up into her throat this time. Without realizing it, she rests her head on Emma's shoulder, nuzzling a bit into the side of her neck.

"Just relax, Regina," Emma whispers. "I've got you now. We'll just get you upstairs and back into bed."

Nodding, Regina lets her mind wander, body craving the safety that Emma's presence offers her. She hears Emma and Henry talking, but the words wash over her as exhaustion tugs at her. She knows that it won't take long to get upstairs, but somehow the journey is long enough that the next thing she's aware of is waking up in her bed. The covers are tucked in around her, a warm cocoon that makes her feel sleepy again.

"Emma?" she croaks. "Henry?"

When she doesn't hear a reply, she briefly considers going to find them. Instead, she settles back into the covers, curling into a ball on her side to stay warmer. Her body aches more now, making her grateful for the memory foam mattress she splurged on when they'd returned from the missing year in the Enchanted Forest. It doesn't take long for Regina to succumb to exhaustion again, her last conscious thought on where her family is.

~*~*~

"Regina?"

She groans softly, instantly regretting it as the vibrations make her throat hurt even more. Swallowing hurts even more, but she's parched and needs something to drink. She curls into a tighter ball and tries to go back to sleep.

"Come on, Regina," Emma says softly in a singsong voice that is far too reminiscent of her mother. "I've got tea and chicken broth for you."

She screws her eyes shut as the blankets are gently pulled away. The fresher, cooler air makes her shiver and groan again, but the scent of chicken broth makes her mouth water.

"There you are. How about you let me see those pretty brown eyes of yours now?"

It takes longer than she expects to open her eyes and squint blearily at Emma. "Too bright," she mumbles, pressing a hand to her face.

The bed dips as Emma gets up to close the curtains, then dips again when she returns to sit next to Regina. "Is that better now?"

"Mm-hmm," is all she can offer, cutting it off in a yawn.

"All right, sleepy, let's get you upright to have some tea and broth. You can take meds, too. I got some Nyquil and cough drops. I figured that would be best at this point."

It takes far more out of Regina to sit up, but she does it with Emma's help. Her head swims, which makes her stomach lurch again, but the urge to vomit isn't as strong as she expects. She accepts the travel mug from Emma and takes a tentative sip. The heady taste of Granny's chicken soup fills her mouth, the warmth travels outward from her throat to chase away the shivers. She sips it slowly, smiling as she starts to feel less foggy and queasy.

"There's that smile I like to see," Emma says. "How's that taste?"

"Good. Thank you." Her voice is almost gone. "H-How long was I out?"

"Just a couple hours. I thought it would be easier to let you sleep a little before getting you up for food and meds." Emma reaches for the mug and offers her a different one. "This one has chamomile tea with honey and ginger. Zelena said the ginger would help your stomach and the honey would coat your throat."

"Z-- My sister was here?"

"No, she called to tell you that Robyn's finally well enough to sleep through the night again. She apologized for getting you sick."

Regina shakes her head and yawns. "S'okay."

"Okay, let's get these taken." Emma holds out two gelcaps. "Take them one at a time if you need to, then you can go back to sleep."

Regina does as requested, eyes starting to droop. Part of her blames it on the lovely warm feeling that the broth and tea both give her. She slumps back down in bed, curling up on her side as Emma tucks her in.

"Sleep now, Regina. I'll come check on you later."

~*~*~

A soft sound pulls Regina from a deep, dreamless sleep. She doesn't want to get up yet, but the sound is persistent.

"Please get better, Regina. I don't know how to share my magic to help heal you. It was different when I healed Robin back in Camelot. This is different."

Emma. Emma's talking to her. And then she realizes that Emma sounds odd. It takes a minute or two before she notices that she's curled into Emma's side, head over the woman's heart. It feels good. It feels _right_.

"God, I know it's just a cold, but I can't do this alone. I need you to get better and help me be the person everyone wants me to be. I want to be here for you, no matter what, but I don't know if you even want that. I can't lose you, but I'm afraid to let you in…"

Regina's heart begins to beat faster as Emma's words register. She's felt the same way about Emma. The only difference is that Emma's already wormed her way into Regina's heart and soul. Is it possible that they both want the same thing?

But before Regina can consider that any longer, exhaustion drags her back into healing sleep.


	5. Sleeping

Excerpt of Session Transcript

Patient: Swan, Emma  
Case File #ES-19831023  
Session Date: July 6, 2016

AH: How are you doing, Emma? We missed you at the fireworks the other day.

ES: I'm okay. Tired, but okay. I've been nursing Regina back to health. She got that weird bug that hit her niece and a few other people in town.

AH: Oh, that's right. Henry mentioned that. You and he are lucky you didn't catch it, too.

ES: Yeah, I know. It got kind of crazy a couple times with Regina.

AH: But she's better now?

ES: A little weak, but getting stronger. I have to pick up her soup from Granny's after we're done here, then take it home to her.

AH: Is there something new that you'd like to discuss with me today, Emma?

ES: What do you mean?

AH: You said you needed to take the soup home to Regina. Have your living arrangements changed since we spoke last week?

ES: No, but I'd like them to. I mean, I've been staying at the mansion while taking care of Regina. *sighs* It's been nice, you know? Having people in the house to take care of and spend time with. Regina's mostly slept, so I've helped Henry with cleaning and cooking. And I've been sleeping with Regina a lot.

AH: Sleeping with her? In what way?

ES: Nothing like that! Just sharing a bed. It's just been easier to make sure she's getting her meds on time and keeping an eye on her fever. But she's been cuddling with me and…

AH: And?

ES: And it feels really good. I want to make this more permanent with her and Henry. I sleep better now and don't wake up from nightmares about all of my bad decisions like I do at my house. I hate my house. I can't be there without thinking of Killian and what I did as a Dark One. I don't think anyone will want to buy it either. Part of me really wants to level it to the ground, then rebuild on the land for someone else. But it's just not home to me anymore.

AH: I think it's time for you and Regina to have a serious talk. Wait until she's fully recovered though. It's not fair to either of you if she's still ill.

ES: Yeah, I was wondering if you had any ideas…

AH: The best advice I can give you is to be open and honest with her. Even if you feel like running--

ES: I don't. That's the thing, Archie. I don't want to run. I'm still terrified to let her in and lose her, but I don't want to regret not even giving it a chance, you know?

AH: I understand. Let me make a suggestion. Once you've talked, or if you think you'll need an impartial mediator, I'd like to schedule a session with both of you to discuss this, okay? It can even be a family session with Henry, if all three of you are willing to do that.

~*~*~

Walking in the front door, Emma toes off her boots and heads up and into the kitchen with her bags of takeout and groceries. She can hear one of Henry's videogames coming from the den and smiles.

"Hey, kid? Come help me put this stuff away. I got us lunch."

She doesn't receive a response at first, then hears Henry heading her way. She glances up as he steps into the kitchen with one of Regina's travel mugs. She keeps pulling groceries from the bags so they can get everything for tonight's dinner ready, then put the rest away. Henry pours out the contents of the mug and starts the electric kettle going.

"Mom asked for more tea when I come back after helping you," he says with a grin as he sees her watching him.

"Your mom's in the den?"

He nods as he starts to put cans and boxes in the pantry. "She asked me to help her come downstairs a little after you left. She said she was lonely up in her room."

That makes Emma's heart clench tightly enough that she forgets how to breathe for a moment. "I-- You were careful getting her downstairs, right?"

"She held the railing the whole way and I supported her on the other side. We were totally safe. She's mostly been sleeping, but makes sure to drink her tea." He laughs softly. "Why don't you take her tea in when it's ready? She'll be glad to see you're home. She muttered your name in her sleep a couple times."

"She did?" Emma feels her cheeks grow warm in embarrassment at her reaction to his words. "I mean--"

"Ma, I think you and Mom should figure yourselves out. I'm happy if you're both happy, you know that."

"Thanks, kid." She leans over to kiss his cheek. "Anyone ever tell you that you're a pretty damned great kid?"

"You and Mom tend to say it a lot, and Gramma and Gramps, too. Water's ready for Mom's tea."

Emma nods and busies herself with making the tea. "What game are you playing in there?"

"Mario Kart. Wanna get your butt whooped again?"

"You're on. Ten bucks says I kick your butt though."

"Easiest ten bucks I've made in a while."

Emma laughs as she takes the mug of tea and heads into the den. Walking in, she sees Regina stretched out on the couch, peacefully asleep. The sight tightens Emma's heart again, affection suffusing her entire being. Setting the mug on the coffee table, she kneels next to the couch and gently presses the backs of her fingers against Regina's forehead and cheek. The soft skin is only barely above normal temps, which eases a couple of the tight bands of fear around Emma's heart. Fixing the blanket, she can't help but lean in to lightly kiss Regina's cheek.

"Emma?" The word is sleepily slurred, but doesn't sound as painfully hoarse as it's been the past several days.

"Hey," she replies softly. "You should be sleeping."

"Lonely," Regina replies, eyes fluttering open slowly. Emma watches as her pupils adjust to the light. "Missed you."

A band of a different kind tightens around Emma's chest this time, and she remembers Archie's words in her earlier session. "I missed you, too. I wasn't gone that long though. Just for my appointment with Archie, then some grocery shopping. Henry and I are gonna make some chicken noodle soup tonight for dinner. But I brought home some of Granny's for you, too."

The slow, easy smile that spreads across Regina's face is one of Emma's favorite things in the world. "You spoil me, Emma."

"And you love every minute of it, don't you?" When Regina's only reply is a darkening of her cheeks, Emma chuckles softly. "Do you want some tea or would you rather sleep a little more? Henry's finishing with the groceries, then we're gonna play Mario Kart for a while."

"He fleeces you," Regina says and tries to laugh, the sound morphing into a coughing fit.

Emma helps her sit up and rubs her back until the spasms cease. Once she's sure the coughs won't kick in again, she helps Regina settle on the cushions again.

"He cheats and I let him get away with it," she replies, waggling her eyebrows.

"Mm-hmm," comes the sleepy reply, Regina's eyes drifting shut again.

"So you're staying down here with us then?" When the only response Emma gets is a soft snore, she chuckles. "I guess that's a yes."

~*~*~

As Regina takes a quick shower later that night, Emma and Henry get the bedding changed. Emma keeps an ear out in case Regina needs help. Henry grins and kisses her cheek before lugging the dirty bedding downstairs for them to wash in the morning. He no more than closes the door behind him when Emma hears the water shut off. She waits impatiently by the bed, hoping that Regina's okay, and sighs with relief when the door finally opens and the woman in question shuffles out sleepily.

"It's all yours if you want it," Regina replies as she makes her way to the bed. Her robe goes to the end of the bed before she slips under the covers with a downright sinful moan. "I love clean sheets after a shower. Don't you?"

Emma blinks dumbly at her for a moment before nodding. "Uh, yeah, it's pretty good, isn't it? I'm gonna take a quick shower. Be right back."

She moves into the bathroom without waiting for a reply, the sound of that moan echoing in her head. Standing under the spray, she considers taking care of business, but turns the water to cold instead to finish her shower. She dries off and changes into a clean tank top and boxers, then brushes her teeth and braids her hair for bed. Coming back into the bedroom, she sees Regina curled up on her side, facing the door. Belatedly Emma realizes it's also the side of the bed that she's been sleeping on this whole time. A soft smile graces her lips as she realizes that this is becoming just as much of a comfortable routine for Regina as it is for her.

"Come to bed," Regina says sleepily, fighting to stay awake.

"Far be it from me to keep a pretty lady waiting," she teases, covering the sudden onslaught of butterflies in her stomach. This feels very different from what they've been doing while Regina's been sick, but she finds herself wanting this. "Did you take your meds?"

"Yes, ma'am," comes the reply, a smiling curving up Regina's lips.

Emma slips under the covers, checks her alarm, then shuts off the light. As soon as she settles on the mattress, Regina shifts closer, head resting over Emma's heart, and drapes an arm loosely across Emma's stomach. She can feel how heavy Regina's body is getting, and guesses that it won't be long before she starts her adorably soft snoring.

"Sweet dreams, Regina," she whispers and presses her lips to the damp brunette locks, then closes her own eyes. Just when she thinks Regina's asleep, the woman's lips briefly touch the skin over her heart. She prays that her heartbeat doesn't speed up at that intimate gesture. Before she can make sure Regina's comfortable enough under the covers with her, that telltale snoring starts. It's enough to pull her into sleep herself. The last thought she has is that they can talk in the morning.


	6. Arguments

As soon as he walks into his office, Archie plays the messages on his machine.

_You have three new messages._

_First message received on Friday, July 29, 2016, at 5:21 a.m. from phone number 207-555-8287.  
"Yeah, um, Archie, it's Emma. Listen, I can't make it to my appointment today. I'm, um, I have to go to Boston to pick up some accessories for Henry's new computer. I know this is last minute, but I'm okay with you rescheduling me whenever next week. I won't fight it. Thanks."_

_Second message received on Friday, July 29, 2016, at 6:18 a.m. from phone number 207-555-3877.  
"Archie, I need to talk to you. Please tell me you have an opening today. She's gone. We fought last night, but I thought we had resolved it. I just woke up and she's gone. Please, Archie, I need you."_

_Third message received on Friday, July 29, 2016, at 10:43 a.m. from phone number 207-555-4278.  
"Hey, Archie, it's Henry. Um, I need your help. Ma's not here and won't answer her phone at all, and Mom's completely losing it. I don't know what happened, but I'm worried. Can you do something to help them?"_

~*~*~

"I don't think that this is nearly as bad as--" A knock at the door cuts off the rest of what Archie is going to say. He smiles and gets up to answer the door.

"Hey, Archie," Emma says as he opens the door. "Sorry I'm late. The realtor was showing the house and I couldn't get in to grab something I needed, then the Bug was being pissy, and--" She pauses as she sees who else is in the room. "What the hell is she doing here?"

"Come in and have a seat, Emma, and I'll explain what's going on."

He watches as Emma steps into the room and moves to sit in the chair across from his own, as far away from Regina as she can get. He doesn't miss Regina's nearly imperceptible flinch at this either. He closes the door and moves back to his chair.

"If it would be easier for me to leave," Regina says, voice husky from the tears still slipping down her cheeks.

Pongo whines when Regina moves as if to stand up. She pauses when he licks her hand and offers a wan smile.

"There's no reason for you to leave, Regina," Archie replies. "You're both supposed to be here right now."

Emma snorts and slumps further in her seat. "Why?"

"Because I received three rather distressing voicemails on Friday and I couldn't get the two of you together for a session until today."

He no more than finishes his sentence when both of them begin to talk at once.

"Look, it's not my fault that I was stuck in Boston all weekend, okay?"

"Three messages? I only called you once."

"I never said anything about assigning blame, Emma, merely that it took me the whole weekend to get a time that worked for both of you to be here. As for the voicemails I received, you both called me, as did your son."

"Henry called?" Emma asks, then glances over at Regina, who goes quiet and looks down at Pongo's head in her lap. "Why did Henry call you? Is he okay? What haven't you told me, Regina?"

Archie watches the two of them for a moment or two, willing to let Regina explain herself, given that she's already done it the session they shared prior to this one. When she doesn't speak or lift her head, he takes it upon himself to help her.

"Henry called because he was worried about you both. Emma, you weren't answering your phone, and Regina was beside herself with fear."

"Why would you be afraid, Regina?" When Regina still doesn't answer, Emma growls softly. "What the hell? I was doing what we talked about. I went to get stuff for Henry's present."

"You left in the middle of the night, Emma," Regina finally says, still not meeting anyone's gaze. "You made it seem like we resolved things before we went to bed, then you snuck out while I was asleep and left."

"That's not what--"

"Yes, it is!" Now Regina looks at Emma, eyes glossy with unshed tears, face red with emotion. "You said we were okay when we went to sleep, and then you left without a word. And no matter how many times I called, you wouldn't pick up or call me back. You _ran_ , Emma, admit it."

"I didn't run."

"You _ran_ ," Regina repeats, voice turning the slightest bit shrill. "You had an appointment with Archie that you clearly cancelled. And let's not forget that _we_ were supposed to take that trip to Boston together on Saturday. So you broke two previously arranged engagements, stayed away all weekend, and cut yourself off from everyone." She pauses to take a ragged breath. "No, that's not true. You eventually talked to both Archie and Henry. Apparently you even talked to your mother. So you cut yourself off from me."

Emma looks down, but not before her expression changes to one of guilt. "It's not what you think."

"How do you even know what I think? You didn't stick around long enough to talk to me about it. And when you came back into town last night, you crashed on your parents' sofa instead of coming home. So clearly I'm the reason you left, but I haven't a clue what I did."

"You called out his name in your sleep." Emma's words are so soft, they're almost unintelligible.

"What was that, Emma?" Archie asks, hoping to keep things civil between the two women.

"She called out his name in her sleep, okay?" she replies, shooting up to start pacing. "It sounded-- I don't know, but it was too much for me. I tried to ignore it, but I couldn't, so I left."

"Whose name?"

"Robin's," Regina whispers, then clears her throat. She watches Emma pacing for a moment, hand still absently petting Pongo. "I-- I was having a nightmare about the last fight he and I had before he d-died." Archie can hear her swallow. "I never got to apologize for my part in that fight, and I never will."

"You still have feelings for him. You're still connected to him."

Regina shakes her head. "Not exactly. I was afraid. Emma and I fought, and it terrified me that something would happen to her. Even though she told me that things were okay, I was still upset and…"

"And?"

"When I'm upset, I tend to dream about past mistakes and issues that relate to my current cause for distress. That night, I ran the gamut of last fights before people I loved died. Daniel, my father, my mother, Maleficent, Graham, Henry… It was only logical that Robin follow in that same vein." Her head drops again, and Archie watches a tear fall to land on Pongo's head. "I watched him die," she whispers. "I watched him step in front of me and take the full brunt of that damned crystal's power. He gave up _everything_ for me, including a life with his two children. _Willingly_. That kind of sacrifice has only ever happened with one other person, and I still haven't thanked her for that because I still fear I'll lose her."

That stops Emma in her tracks. She is visibly shaking as she turns to look at Regina, but doesn't say anything. Regina continues to focus on Pongo, but Archie notices that she, too, is shaking at this point.

"A-And then I woke up and I was alone in bed. Emma's side of the bed was cold and I couldn't find her anywhere. I called her and it went directly to voicemail, just like it did all weekend long. I cried myself to sleep and my dreams picked up in the cycle again, only it was Emma who died this time. At least the others knew how I felt about them before they died…"

As Regina speaks, Archie watches Emma move closer to Regina's place on the couch, as if inexorably drawn to her. There is more to these two than either is willing to admit, even at this point, but he knows that they'll both benefit once they're ready to work together for what they clearly both want.

"I'm not gonna die, Regina," Emma says softly, standing directly behind her. She reaches out to tentatively touch dark hair, frowning when Regina flinches slightly. "Why do you do that? Why won't you believe me?"

"Because they all promise that they'll be there for me, and they all leave. Just like you did."

Emma moves to kneel in front of Regina, shoving the coffee table out of the way, and reaches for her hands. "I'm still here though. I'm not dead. I'm not even hurt. I just-- I got scared, too, okay?"

"Why were you scared?"

"It's stupid."

"No, it's not," Regina replies vehemently. "Quit devaluing your feelings and talk to me. Why were you scared?"

"You don't get it, do you? Every man I've ever committed to is dead. Neal, Walsh, Hook. Hell, even Henry died at one point. You worry that they all die in an attempt at saving you? I worry that they all die because they love me." Tears slip down Emma's cheeks. "I can't lose you, too. I stepped aside, I took the darkness, so I wouldn't lose you. I didn't care that you were with him. All I wanted was for you to be happy and still around. I'd rather just be your friend and know you're still in my life."

Archie sits quietly, taking notes and letting the two women come clean with what they've both been hiding from each other. For once, he finds himself grateful to have a completely open schedule, because he won't let Emma and Regina leave until they've resolved what they can today and make plans to work on the rest.


	7. Physical Intimacy

Excerpt of Session Transcript

Patient: Mills, Regina  
Case File #RM-19761109  
Session Date: August 5, 2016

AH: So you and Emma have been doing better this week?

RM: Yes, we have. I think the extra sessions with you have helped.

AH: Surely you've done more than just our sessions?

RM: Definitely. We've done a lot of talking, both with and without Henry. It-- It hasn't been easy, but I think it's been worth it. I don't want to lose her, Archie. You know what she means to me.

AH: And I hope now she knows that, too?

RM: She does. I think it's been good to dig into the painful memories that have shaped us, so that we can both understand how each other feels and processes certain events.

AH: And you're both being careful of the emotional fallout, right? You're not pushing too far just to prove something to yourselves?

RM: No, we're being careful. In fact, we're rewarding ourselves this weekend for our good work.

AH: What are you doing?

RM: We're going to Boston to pick up Henry's main birthday present. But we're going to spend the whole weekend there, just the two of us. Henry's staying with his grandparents. We're staying in a fancy hotel and just being Emma and Regina, just this couple that is so new, but has technically been together for more years than either of us realized.

AH: And how do you feel having made that realization?

RM: It's exciting and scary and _comfortable_ in ways that I never expected. It feels real now in a visceral way that I can't explain, but that I never thought I could have. I am more grateful right now than I probably have the right to be.

AH: You have the right to a happy ending as much as the rest of us, Regina. You need to remember that and believe it.

~*~*~

"Do you have your clothes packed, Henry?"

He grins as he looks up at Regina standing in the doorway. She can see the amusement in his eyes, remembers a mischievous five-year-old who would do anything to make her laugh.

"Mom, chill, okay? I'm staying with Gramma and Gramps. We all have keys to the house if I forget something. Plus, you're only gonna be gone until tomorrow night."

She frowns slightly, knowing that he speaks the truth. "I'm sorry, Henry. This is so new and--"

"And if you overthink it, you'll ruin it," he says, getting up to hug her. She perhaps clings a little too tightly to him, but he doesn't complain. "You and Ma deserve this, okay? You both deserve to be happy, and if that's with each other, then even better, right?"

She cups his face in her hands, resting her forehead against his. "When did you get to be so wise, my prince?"

"Well, see, I have these great moms who make sure that I know what's right and wrong and how to be a decent human being. I kinda owe them everything."

"Flatterer," she whispers and presses a kiss to his forehead.

"I got that from Gramps. He even told me so."

That makes Regina laugh hard enough for tears to slip down her cheeks. She clings to him for a moment or two more, relishing the closeness she can still share with her teenage son. The sound of Emma's boots coming up the staircase pulls her away.

"Emma, would you come explain to your son that being a sycophant isn't a positive trait to be passed on genetically?"

She smiles broadly as Emma comes into view, wearing the signature outfit that first caught Regina's eye four years ago when they first met. A part of her, the control freak that lived within her during the curse in particular, wants to rant about Emma tracking dirt through the house. But the part of her that is in love and finally feeling like she deserves a happy ending politely stifles the control freak.

"If I knew what sycophant meant, I'd totally help you out, Regina, but…" She raises her arms and shrugs.

"You look entirely too much like that stupid internet image right now."

Coming closer, Emma pulls them both into a loose embrace. "But I feel like a woman who's anxious to get on the road so we can avoid as much traffic as possible."

"All right." Regina can't help the ache in her cheeks from smiling so much around this woman now. 

"Grab your bag, Henry, and take it downstairs." Emma ruffles his hair a bit, and Regina bites back a laugh at his imminent scowl.

"Seriously, Ma?" he grumbles, moving to fix his hair.

Emma sticks her tongue out at him, then turns to look at Regina. "And where's your bag, young lady?"

"I--" Regina blushes. "I'm not done packing yet?" Henry snickers as he walks past his mothers, backpack over his shoulder. "Watch it, Henry. I can make sure your Wii isn't functional all weekend."

"Ugh, fine!"

She can see the smirk tugging at his lips as he heads downstairs. The soft clearing of a throat returns her attention to her girlfriend, who simply points toward the bedroom. Regina brushers her lips against Emma's, then heads toward the bedroom to finish her packing. She can feel Emma following behind her, but tries to focus on the task at hand. The last of her clothes in the duffel bag, she goes to get her toiletries bag and set it on top of her clothes before zipping the bag closed.

"All right, dear, I'm all packed. Is everything taken care of?"

"Yep," Emma replies, moving to pull Regina into her arms again. "Nothing left to do now but get your bag in the car and wait for Dad to come get Henry, then we can go."

Regina smiles and rests her head on Emma's shoulder with a content sigh. "We're ready for this, aren't we?"

"Of course, we are. It doesn't have to be anything more than what we both can handle. Besides we have to take care of someone's gift."

"Gramps is here," Henry calls, the words echoing upstairs.

"All right, Mills, let's get this show on the road."

Emma starts to move away, but Regina pulls her back to kiss her slowly, savoring the minty taste of toothpaste on Emma's tongue. Only when hands slip into the back pockets of her jeans does Regina pull back from the kiss.

~*~*~

Later that evening, on the way back from dinner at the hotel's five-star restaurant, Regina rests her head on Emma's shoulder during the quiet elevator ride to their floor. She studies their reflection in the mirrored wall and smiles at just how right it looks and feels.

"You're awfully quiet tonight," Emma says softly, breath toying with a few loose strands of her hair. "You okay?"

Regina nods. "I'm just thinking, I guess."

"Anything you want to share?"

"Not yet, but I will. It's still rattling around in the back of my head, trying to find a focus."

Instead of answering, Emma simply guides her girlfriend out of the elevator and down the corridor toward their suite. She opens the door and lets Regina in first, making sure to put the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door before closing and locking it.

Regina goes to the kitchenette to put their leftovers in the fridge for later snacking. She knows well enough that Emma will get a case of the munchies and need something to tide her over. She grabs two bottles of water and faces Emma.

"I was thinking we could split that bottle of wine chilling in the fridge once the food's settled a little more," she says with a soft smile.

"That sounds like a plan."

Their fingers brush as the bottle of water passes between them, a slight jolt hitting Regina at the contact. She sucks in a breath and bites her bottom lip, letting Emma guide her to the couch. Without thought, she snuggles into her side as Emma finds them a random movie to watch. It only takes a moment or two before Emma sets aside the remote and both bottles of water, then pulls Regina into a gentle kiss. It doesn't take long for Regina's lips to part, allowing Emma's tongue entrance. Her fingers glide back to tangle in the braid resting at the back of Emma's skull.

Emma's gentle persistence shifts their positions until Regina is on her back, Emma on all fours above her. The kiss continues, tongues gliding and teasing, until Emma begins to kiss her way down the column of Regina's throat. She nips at the pulse point and chuckles darkly when Regina whimpers and tilts her head to the side, offering the full expanse of her neck to her. A warm hand cups her breast through her blouse, the heat sending a shiver down her spine.

"Emma…"

"Shh, I'm right here." She kisses her way back up to Regina's lips, gently nibbling on her bottom lip. "How about we take this into the bedroom and get out of these nice clothes before we accidentally ruin them."

Regina smiles, suddenly feeling a bit shy, and nods. "I-- I think that's a good plan."

Emma kisses her again, then carefully stands up and offers a hand to Regina. They head into the bedroom, television still playing whatever sappy movie Emma found. Clothes are removed slowly and carefully, each inch of skin stroked and kissed until both women are left in bra and panties. Regina studies Emma and licks her lips unconsciously. They've slept together practically every night for the last six weeks, but this is more undressed than they've ever been in each other's presence.

Taking a deep breath, Regina reaches up to unhook and remove her bra and let it fall to the floor. She walks backward until she falls onto the bed, crooking a finger to beckon Emma closer. Emma also reaches up to remove her bra and let it fall before joining Regina on the bed.

"You're so beautiful," Emma whispers, fingers ghosting over Regina's breasts and circling her nipples. "You're the most beautiful person I've ever met."

Regina feels her cheeks grow warm at the compliment. "I could say the same about you. But I think right now I'd rather not be talking."

She tugs Emma's head down for a languid kiss, fingers moving down the expanse of her back, mapping out each bump of her spine. Emma shifts slightly, pressing a thigh between hers, and Regina moans into the kiss. She hasn't explained to Emma the dreams she's been having about just this moment, unwilling to step over any boundaries they may not have discussed yet.

Emma pulls back from the kiss to look at Regina. "You'll tell me if we go too far?"

"I will. Don't worry, Emma, I want this. I really want this."

"Me, too." Emma smiles and leans down to kiss her again. Just before their lips touch, she whispers, "I love you, Regina."

Tears fill Regina's eyes at Emma's confession, and she deepens the kiss in response, fisting Emma's hair to hold her close. Emma groans into the kiss, returning it just as eagerly. Each brush of their breasts sends a shiver of desire coursing down her spine to pool hotly low in her belly. Emma retraces the path down her neck, this time latching onto her collarbone to suck gently as her lightly callused fingers tease her nipples.

"Oh god, Emma, please," she whispers, chest arching toward her girlfriend's -- _lover's_ touch. Her fingers tighten in Emma's hair, tugging her head down toward her chest. Regina moans again as Emma's tongue swirls around her left nipple, teasing it even harder. Her hips move against the muscular thigh trapped against her pussy, and she realizes just how damp her panties are.

"Fuck, Regina! I can _feel_ how wet you are." Her right hand glides down to rest on Regina's hip, but Regina grabs her hand and moves it lower. "Are you sure, Regina?"

Opening her eyes, Regina stares at Emma. "I want this. I want you. I love you."

Emma smiles brightly and leans in to kiss her again, fingers slipping into her panties to glide over slick skin to circle her clit. Regina's dreamed of this moment for so long and, now that it's happening, she knows she's not going to last long. She groans into the kiss, hips rolling up against Emma's hand and thigh. Her muscles clench tightly as Emma eases two fingers into her pussy.

"Come on," Emma says, resting their foreheads together. "Don't hold back on me. You and I both want this."

She curls her fingers to gently drag across Regina's g-spot, thumb rubbing tighter circles against her clit. Regina's groans rise in pitch, timed with the rapid movements of her hips, until she cries out Emma's name as her orgasm overwhelms her. She regrets coming so quickly, but remembers that this won't be the only time she can come for her lover. She shudders against Emma, who whispers soft encouragements to her, fingers gradually slowing until her hand stills.

"That was beautiful. _You_ are beautiful."

Regina blushes and lazily kisses Emma. "So are you." She shifts slightly, her thigh flexing against Emma's panty-clad pussy, making Emma moan softly. She continues moving her thigh, wanting Emma to feel the same way she does. It doesn't take long for Emma to start shaking above her, head thrown back in a silent scream. Regina watches her, awed by the carnal beauty that is her lover, and vows to make sure Emma is happy and loved for the rest of their lives.


	8. Coming Out

Excerpt of Session Transcript

Patient: Swan, Emma  
Case File #ES-19831023  
Session Date: August 15, 2016

AH: You seem distracted today, Emma.

ES: It's Henry's birthday, and there's still so much to get done before the party at Granny's.

AH: You do know that we could have rescheduled, don't you?

ES: Yeah, I know, but I made Regina and Henry a promise after I cut and ran a couple weeks ago. Plus, the birthday boy himself told me that Regina could handle things for an hour while we have our talk. He's, uh, really into the two of us working through our issues to be our best selves for our family and everyone else. He said that he's the Author and he knows these things.

AH: That sounds about right. He's very wise for his age.

ES: That's all on his mom. He blows me out of the water every single day that I know him.

AH: I believe he thinks the world of you, too, Emma. How is he adjusting to you and Regina dating?

ES: *laughs* I think it's safe to say that we're beyond dating at this point.

AH: Oh? Is there something I should know?

ES: Oh, it's nothing like that. We're just dealing with more details of living together and selling my house. Even with a big house, I had hardly any possessions to bring over to Reg-- to the house. So we've been rearranging a few things in the house to accommodate my crap and working on schedules. But the schedules thing's been kind of easy, since we've been doing it ever since Regina got so sick.

AH: And how do your parents feel about this?

ES: They, uh, they don't exactly know yet. We haven't told anyone. I mean, Violet knows because she's been over a lot to see me living there.

AH: The look on your face says there's a story there. Are you comfortable sharing it?

ES: She caught me kissing Regina in the kitchen the other night. We were setting the table for dinner and she came in to help. I couldn't help myself though. Regina had tasted the red sauce to make sure it was okay, and she had a little drop on the side of her mouth and I couldn't just leave it there, so…

AH: I don't need to know any further details. Clearly she didn't have an issue with the two of you?

ES: Oh god, no! She was as pleased as Henry. She kept going on about it being so romantic that we found each other through Henry. I can't really disagree with her on that. As for the rest of the town, especially my parents, I'm not sure when or how we'll tell them, but we'll figure it out. They probably suspect anyway, given how much we've been seen out together.

AH: So you're not making an announcement today at the party?

ES: What the hell, Archie? Of course, we're not. I mean, Henry said he wouldn't mind, but we're not going to steal his birthday from him. People can wait to find out later on.

~*~*~

"So Violet's going to bring Henry over in about fifteen minutes," Regina says to everyone assembled in Granny's. "She said she'll text me right before they get here."

"Does Henry really not have a clue about what we're doing?" Leroy asks, a skeptical grin on his face.

"Oh, he knows we're throwing him a party. He actually thinks it's going to be at the house, that Violet has been in league with us by taking him out for a walk along the shore down by his old castle. He just hasn't figured out that Operation Birthday Boy has actually been his girlfriend's idea."

Everyone laughs at that, and Emma smiles as she sees how many people that love her son have crowded into the diner. It's more packed than when she and Snow came back from the Enchanted Forest three years ago. And that had been practically standing room only then.

And then she looks up at a familiar sensation, smiling as she meets Regina's eye from across the room. The warmth in those dark eyes makes her chest swell with love again. Regina blinks slowly, eyes closing for a handful of seconds before opening again. Their own private code for _I love you_ until they can openly say it. Regina has been just as adamant about not taking the focus from Henry today.

The moment is brief as Regina is called away by Granny to verify that the food is up to her standards. Not that Emma thinks that will be a problem. Whether she'll admit it or not, Regina is a fan of Granny's cooking. Emma turns as she hears David's laughter, then heads over to where he and Leroy are trading stories of some sort.

"Do I even want to know what kind of trouble you two are getting into right now?" she asks, standing at the booth where they're sitting. Neal flails an arm and tosses his teething ring, and Emma catches it before either of the men can register it. "Are you the mastermind of this little group, little man?" she asks as she gives him the ring again. "Is that it? You're telling Dad and Leroy what's going to happen? Just like your nephew, aren't you?"

Neal lets out a happy squeal and tosses the ring again. Emma laughs and retrieves it for him, letting the game continue. The delighted laughter from their booth draws a bit of a crowd, but none of its inhabitants realize it until Emma feels a hand gently rest on the small of her back. She knows exactly who it is without having to look.

"Are you trying to steal my favorite little man away from me, Ms. Swan?"

Emma swallows thickly at the slight purr in Regina's tone, praying that her skin isn't darkening with a blush of arousal. "Not at all, Madam Mayor. He's showing me how we can defeat the next big bad that comes to threaten our fair town."

"Is he now?" Regina leans over to tickle Neal's tummy, making him giggle even more. "Already leading the rest of the Charming clan? That's my boy, Neal. You're going to go far in the world."

~*~*~

"All right, everyone," Regina says with a grin a couple of hours later, "I think it's time for the birthday boy to move on to the cake unveiling and presents."

"Wait! I just stuffed myself on tacos and pizza," Henry says, patting his stomach. "How am I supposed to have room for cake?"

"Belch a couple times, you'll be good."

Emma laughs as Leroy jumps suddenly when his chair disappears from underneath him. She recognizes the mischievous smirk on Regina's face immediately and raises her mug of beer in salute. Regina winks and inclines her head regally.

"Perhaps that will teach you to mind your manners, Leroy."

"Yeah, sorry, sister," he says, staring as his chair reappears, then drains his beer and gets up for a refill.

"While you're up, you can help me with the cake," Granny replies with a wink at Henry. "And you just stay where you are, birthday boy. If you move so much as a single hair on your head, this becomes _my_ cake."

"Yes, ma'am!" Henry's broad grin turns to an expression of awe when Granny and Leroy wheel out the large cake made to resemble a map of the Enchanted Forest and all of the lands of his friends and family. "Oh wow! Granny, this is so awesome!" He races over to hug her tightly.

"You're welcome, Henry," she says, kissing his cheek. "But you need to thank your family and your girlfriend for helping get it done."

Henry hugs his grandparents and kisses Neal's head, then goes to hug Violet. He turns to Emma next, hugging her tightly, and she has to fight the tears filling her eyes. When he goes to hug Regina, she can't stop a couple of tears from slipping down her cheeks. She can't tell what their whispered conversation is, but she knows that look of unconditional, bone deep love on Regina's face.

~*~*~

As the party continues, Emma notices that Regina's energy is starting to flag. Regina is holding young Neal, giving his parents a break from baby duty, but both she and the little boy are showing signs of exhaustion. Emma gets up in an attempt to go to her girlfriend, but doesn't even stand up before she's flagged down by her mother.

"This has been a wonderful party, Emma," Snow says with a smile.

"It has. Regina and Violet really went all out to make this special for Henry. He's lucky to have both of them."

"He's lucky to have you, too, Emma," she says as Emma's eyes travel to watching Regina again. "So, it seems, is Regina."

Those last words are said so softly that Emma isn't sure if they're actually spoken or just her mind playing tricks on her. "What?"

Snow turns to look at her daughter. "You heard me, Emma."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"And you're picking up her phrasing," Snow replies with a soft laugh. "You've got it bad for her, Emma."

Emma scratches at the back of her head, feeling her cheeks heat up. "Maybe I do. Is that so wrong?"

"Emma, honey, you know your father and I love you, right? It's just that… Well, it's only been a few months since Killian died. Do you really think this is a good time to get into a new relationship?"

"Mom--"

"No, hear me out. We don't have an issue with you and Regina, we just worry what will happen when this all falls apart because neither of you has gotten over mourning for your soulmates' deaths."

"If there are issues and this relationship doesn't work out, then that's between me and Regina and Henry. No one else. No matter what happens, Regina and I will _always_ make sure that Henry is our first priority, even over each other and ourselves. Just like you're doing right now. That's what it means to be a mother. My feelings for Regina are intertwined with my feelings for Henry, and I don't see that ever changing."

"When will you tell people? What if they don't--"

Emma reaches up a hand, covering Snow's mouth. "Mom, not today, okay? This is Henry's day to shine. Regina and I are focusing on him and only him today. Let things happen the way they're meant to."

Snow pulls Emma into a hug, sniffling back tears. Emma looks over her mother's shoulder to meet Regina's curious gaze, smiling to indicate that things are all right. The smile she receives tugs at the deepest corners of her heart, knowing that she'll go home with that beautiful brunette tonight and every night for the rest of their lives, if she has anything to say about it.


	9. Epilogue

{August 1, 2017}

Archie glances around the backyard of the mayoral mansion with a smile. The decorations are tastefully understated, right down to the white wooden chairs for the guests. Parties like this always make him happy, bringing the townspeople together in a way that they all need from time to time. That this particular party is being held in such a private and personal setting only proves to him just how far the mansion's owner has come in recent years.

Snow comes up to him with a broad grin that borders on manic, and he has to fight the urge to laugh at her. It wouldn't be appropriate for a variety of reasons. She carries Neal in her arms, and he looks dapper in his little outfit, right down to the clip-on bowtie that he keeps pulling off.

"It's almost time," she says, smiling as Archie reaches forward to reset the little tie for Neal. "Is everyone here? I think they all are, but I may have missed a few."

"As far as I can see, everyone is here that needs to be here. We're ready to start as soon as they're ready." He chuckles as Neal removes his tie again. "Are they still doing okay? I haven't spoken to either of them in the past hour."

"Nerves are high, but Henry and David have been doing a wonderful job of smoothing out the rough edges that are inevitable. I'm sure everything's going to be fine."

"Good. Why don't you go alert--" Archie pauses as he sees Henry from across the way grin and offer a thumbs up. "Never mind. Henry has just given me the signal. Go take your seat, Snow. I'll make the initial announcement."

He watches Snow head to her seat, settling Neal in her lap with his favorite stuffed dragon from Regina. The boy cuddles the dragon, chewing on its muzzle, and leans back into his mother's chest. Clearing his throat, Archie raises a hand to further get everyone's attention. It takes a moment for them to settle down enough for him to be heard. As he waits, he can see Henry duck back into the house, then notices David waiting around the corner.

"Good afternoon, everyone," he says with a smile. "On behalf of our hosts, I'd like to thank you all for coming. This is a special day, and we're all very pleased that you've chosen to share it with us. It looks like everyone is ready to get this show on the road, so if you'll indulge us in a further minute or so of final preparations, we can begin."

He glances over to where Ruby and Dorothy are standing next to a table with a laptop on it. At his nod, Ruby leans forward to press a button on the keyboard, and gentle orchestral music begins to play. The piece is a personal favorite of his, one that he learned of thanks to Regina's planning of his persona for the curse. When he'd played it for her during the early months after the curse broke, when their early therapy sessions partially consisted of teaching her ways to relax her mind and heart, Regina had fallen in love with it, as well. He can't even feign surprise that it's part of things today.

After the first minute or two of the music plays, Archie notices David taking a step around the side of the house, Regina at his side. She is wearing a pale silver sheath dress cut just above the knee, picked through with threads of green and copper, and accented by seed beads in the shape of the Lyon flower. Her long hair is pulled up in a twist at the back of her head, a few tendrils framing her face. But it's her smile that captivates everyone's attention more than anything else. The sheer happiness radiating from her is like looking at the moon in its full glory. David leans over to whisper something in her ear, making her laugh and clutch at her small bouquet of peace roses with a single blood red rose in the center.

As the two of them come equal to where Henry waits, the young man turns and offers his hand back into the house. Emma steps out, holding his hand, then sliding it up to rest in the crook of his arm. Her dress is a simple sheath dress like Regina's, also cut just above the knee, in a pale gold color, accented by threads of copper and burnt sienna, and seed beads in the shape of apple blossoms. Over the dress is a waist-length jacket in the same pale gold. Her hair is down in loose curls, part of it pulled up into two braids that twine around each other to form a bun at the crown of her head with baby's breath tucked into it to resemble a wreath of white buds. She also carries a small bouquet of a single blood red rose surrounded by peace roses. She is lit up from within by the emotions playing across her face, the sun incarnate. Henry pats her arm with his free hand.

Neither woman looks at the other, both either glancing down at the ground before them or meeting Archie's gaze. As they get within fifteen feet of Archie's position, both men shift to stand in front of their partners, not moving until each woman's eyes are closed. They carefully guide Regina and Emma to stand in front of Archie, then shift to stand behind them with their hands covering the women's eyes. Archie grins, remembering his reaction to the peculiar request both women had made, but understands it much better now. He nods at the two men, then softly says, "Three, two, one."

Henry and David remove their hands and step back a minute, allowing Regina and Emma to open their eyes and look at each other. Tears sparkle in their eyes as they take in each other's outfits. Snow leans forward to hand Henry a pair of tissues, which he then hands to each of his mothers. They dab at their eyes, laughing softly at their reactions, then turn to smile at Archie.

"Welcome, everyone," he says, "to this commitment ceremony for Regina and Emma. It is with great pride that I officiate this handfasting for these two women whom I consider friends. They have run the gamut from enemies to friends to lovers and now partners in all senses of the word." He reaches out to touch each of their arms, hoping to help calm them. When they nod at him, he returns the gesture. "As we stand here before this assembly and the deities that have chosen to join us, I must remind everyone that we are all here because these two women wish to share their joy with us." He clears his throat and turns to Emma. "Welcome, Emma. Who stands as your witness and proxy in this sacred ceremony?"

Henry steps forward, taking Emma's hand. "I do, as her son and the person who brought her to Storybrooke in the first place. And I honor my mother, who raised me when she couldn't." He winks at Regina, who winks back.

"You are welcomed, Henry." Archie then turns to Regina. "Welcome, Regina. Who stands as your witness and proxy in this sacred ceremony?"

As David steps around, Archie is reminded of how far this particular relationship has come over the years. "I do, as the oldest living male relative she has, outside of her son. And I honor my daughter, who was so instrumental in helping to heal the rift between us."

Archie allows a moment of silence as the four people before him take in what has been stated, before saying, "You are welcomed, David." Both men kiss the cheeks of both women, then move to sit on either side of Snow in the front row of seats, Violet at Henry's other side. "For many people, the prospect of marriage is one that we grow up looking forward to. For those of us born in the realms of the Enchanted Forest, marriage is often dreamed about in conjunction with finding our True Love, our soulmate. But that doesn't happen for all of us."

A flicker of pain and revulsion crosses Regina's face, causing him to stop. He starts to reach forward to comfort her, but Emma steps closer and squeezes Regina's hand, whispering, "It's okay, Regina. This isn't like that. It's okay, I promise. I'm right here."

Only when Regina nods and smiles, echoed by Emma's bright smile, does Archie continue again.

"For some, marriage isn't what was wished for. For some, that elusive True Love soulmate is never found, or that person is taken from us. Marriage isn't always the solution when two people fall in love. When Regina and Emma approached me with this issue, we discussed a variety of options that they could utilize to show their love for each other and their desire to be together without the stigmas both feel about marriage itself. And so, we mutually arrived at the idea of a handfasting, with the intention of renewing their vows every year and a day until both choose to either part ways romantically or take more permanent vows. That I can officiate this ceremony exactly one year after Emma and Regina first confessed their love for each other is a beautiful testament to the growth they have achieved as a couple."

He glances at both women, biting back a chuckle when he notices that neither of them is looking at anyone but each other. A look at the assembled guests shows their rapt attention on the couple, as well.

"I could go on about the virtues of a bond such as Emma and Regina have, despite the adversities they've suffered, both separately and together, but I would merely be repeating words that we all know about situations that we have all witnessed in their lives. At this point, it would be more appropriate for us to focus on what is coming than what has passed. Emma and Regina have chosen to speak their own vows to each other, and I believe it's time that we hear them. Emma, Regina, which of you would like to go first?"

Emma and Regina look at each other. The silence stretches on for a minute or so as they carry on a conversation in looks alone. Then, with a nervous giggle that is highlighted by her cheeks darkening, Regina nods and clears her throat.

"I have been working on my vows for a long time now. Possibly even longer than I fully acknowledged I had any kind of positive feelings for you, Emma. And yes, that means that, on some level, I have been composing and editing these words from the very first night we met five years ago. If anyone had told me then that I would be standing here as we are today, I would have laughed at them. If I had magic available to me, I'd have likely hit them with a couple of fireballs because how could the Evil Queen possibly find anything positive about the Savior, let alone discover that she was in love.

"The first time I realized I might be feeling something more than disdain and animosity was when you and Snow were sucked into that portal right after the curse broke. It wasn't immediately after you'd disappeared, but it ended up being a huge part of why I took in all of that fairy dust when you returned. I let everyone think that I did it for Henry, to show him that I could still be a good mother, which was true. But even with the thought of my mother coming into Storybrooke, I couldn't let you or Henry down. When he begged me to save the two of you, it was like he pulled the trigger that shattered my will to destroy you. And so began the longest exploration of love that I have ever felt."

Regina pauses to wipe at her eyes, trying to staunch the flow of tears, but it's a temporary thing. She clears her throat again, accepting the new tissue from Snow.

"I fought my feelings for a long time. Archie knows very well just how hard I tried, and just how difficult it was to keep from blurting out my feelings on a handful of occasions. I never thought you'd feel the same way about me, that you were too pure to consider a broken and blackened heart like mine. So I kept my feelings to myself and tried to do what I could to ease parts of your burden without you knowing. And when I had to send you and Henry away because of Pan's curse, when we thought we'd never see you again, it nearly killed me. I wasn't just losing my-- _our_ son, who had been my sole reason for living for so long. I was losing you, too. I tried to get rid of my heart then. I couldn't bear the constant pain of living without the two of you. Your mother stopped me, and reminded me that we were a family and we would find you both again and get you back in our lives."

She pauses to glance at Snow, who nods and smiles, saying, "That's true. And I think you owe me a quarter for that hope speech." That gets everyone to laugh. "But I'll let it go. Consider it a gift among family."

"Thank you, Snow," Regina replies, then turns to face Emma again. "I need to apologize to you about Robin. I only got involved with him because you had Walsh and Hook to deal with. And he was my pixie dust prophesied soulmate. And he was easy. I did love him, but I was never actually _in love_ with him. I think I loved the concept of someone loving me more than the person himself. And now that he's gone, I feel guilty for possibly leading him on about how I felt, knowing that I was in love with you the whole time. You taking the darkness for me, sacrificing everything to keep me from sliding back down a very slippery slope, only verified just how much I loved you and how much I didn't deserve you."

"That's not true," Emma says softly.

"I know that now, but I didn't then. Watching what you went through with Hook, the darkness, going to the Underworld, and then still losing him in the end, I… I think I chose to keep my feelings to myself again, focusing instead on mourning for Robin, mourning for Hook after a fashion, and focusing on our son and our friendship. But that didn't work out so well, did it? And then we had that fight that changed everything. And now here we are, a year later, making a commitment to each other that I never knew I needed in my life so badly. You are the sun to my moon. I love you, Emma, and I promise you that I will do my best to make sure you know that every day for as long as you'll have me."

Emma sniffles and wipes at her eyes again. "Wow! I'm not sure how I'm gonna top that, Regina. You're so much better with words than I am."

Regina reaches across the space between them to squeeze her hand. "Just speak from your heart, Emma, like you do when we're alone."

"I, um, I guess this'll probably be shorter than your vows, but that doesn't mean that it's any less well meant or from the heart." Emma pauses to take a deep breath or two before continuing. "The first time we met, I was completely stunned by how beautiful and vulnerable you looked in your worry about Henry, and I think I fell in love with you in that moment. I could feel it that you were a good mom to him and that he had to be blowing something out of proportion with the whole fairy tale curse thing. And then you went on the defensive and I knew you were hiding something, but I couldn't place it, so I got aggressive and defensive in my own way. And I hated it. I honestly hated every single second of it. When I came to you that day to say that I was leaving, I came so close to blurting out how I felt about you, hoping it would be reason enough for you to make me want to stay. But you had this wall up that just had me so exhausted to contemplate it, let alone try to figure out what was so important for you to hide behind it from me.

"And I really need to apologize to you for something. I know we've talked about this before, but I need to do it again. I am so sorry that I didn't fight for you more than I did in the beginning. I chose to believe people who knew the old you, the Evil Queen, than to trust my own heart and my superpower. Because every time I believed someone else, we were proven wrong. But you didn't hold that against me, or it seemed like you didn't. I just never thought I was good enough for you, so I put everything into being a co-mom to Henry and a friend to you. I wanted to reduce your burdens, but sometimes I think I only made them worse, and I'm sorry for that. You said it enough times that it was like raising two kids, and I was an ass to you about it. I can't promise that I won't be an idiot like that again, but I'll try not to."

"I know," Regina replies with a chuckle.

Emma grins sheepishly and licks her lips. "Okay, so there's something else I want to apologize for, even though we've been talking about it for the last year. I will never stop worrying that something could happen to take you away from me. I know it's stupid, and probably more than a little creepy, but every guy that loved me has died, and I don't think I could bear it if you died, too. So I hope you'll forgive me being more cautious than normal when it comes to your safety.

"So I guess what I'm trying to say, without being all elegant and eloquent like you were, is that you and Henry are my top priorities, okay? You are the moon to my sun. I love you, Regina, and I promise you that I will do my best to make sure you know that every day for as long as you'll have me."

Archie waits a moment longer to see if either of them have anything else to say. When both look at him, he smiles and glances toward Snow. "I think it's time for the rings now."

Snow smiles and sets Neal on the grass, putting the little pillow in his hands. "Go give this to Regina, Neal. Go get her and give her the pillow."

Neal giggles and toddles over to Regina, holding up the pillow in one hand while wrapping his other arm around her leg. "Eeena!"

She laughs and leans over to get the pillow, blindly handing it off to Archie, then kisses Neal's forehead. "Thank you, handsome. You did such a good job. Go back to your mama now and I'll save a special dance just for you."

"Wuv Eeena!" he says and toddles back to curl up in Snow's lap again. Henry then stands up to take the pillow, as well as both bouquets.

"All right," Archie says, holding both of the rings in his hand. "Each of you take a ring and hold it to the other's left hand." When they're ready, he nods and says, "With the placing of these rings on your fingers, repeat after me. With this ring, I pledge to you one year of my life. In a year and a day, we will meet again to stay or part."

Regina and Emma repeat the words as they each slide a ring on the other's finger. They stare at their hands for a moment before Archie wraps a deep purple silk ribbon around their hands. The plain, thin gold band on Regina's finger and the matching silver on Emma's sparkle against the darker material.

"By the power vested in me by the state of Maine and the sanctity of the deities of the Enchanted Forest, and by the binding of your hands with this ribbon, I now pronounce you handfasted for a year and a day. May your love guide you toward the rest of your lives together. You may now share your first kiss and legal partners in love and life."

Grinning broadly, Emma leans in to cup Regina's cheek in her right hand and kisses her. Regina's eyes flutter shut and she lifts her right hand to cup Emma's cheek. Even as their friends and family erupt into cheers, the kiss continues on.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Confession Heals the Soul [ ART ]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8797801) by [mippippippi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mippippippi/pseuds/mippippippi)




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